Look Up, Reach Out

I've spent most of my life wishing I could be someone else. I don't mean that I literally wished I had someone else's life, it's not that at all. It's that I have always wished that I, me myself, could be someone who wasn't me, I wanted to be someone better. In my mind's eye I have had this vision of the person that I want to be, someone who's a friend to all, who's kind and really goes out of his way to make the lives of the people around him a little bit better. This person would understand that we're all a little unsure of ourselves, despite what we want others to believe. He would make the people around him feel special, like they were each his favorite. This person would be selfless and really put others first. But try as I might, I have never been able to actually be that person, not 100% of the time. I don't think I'm a bad person, but I'm so afraid that I'll live my whole life and look back and realize that I didn't even get close to being the man that I should have been. I know there is so much more that I could be but that I'm not.

I really don't know how to be that man that I should be. I work towards it, but fall so so short. I'm naturally shy and introverted, and interacting with people drains me. How can I give so much to others when it takes so much out of me? I fall into the same patterns of trying to be better and then giving up when I fall short yet again. How does one actually change their character and very nature? I've started realizing more and more that you really can't, not without help from someone in a higher place than you.

You may have heard the saying that you can't lift another unless you're already on higher ground. Well, I suppose then that there's nobody in a better position to help us than God. The motto I've begun trying to live by is simple, "Look Up, Reach Out." I think the first key to becoming the kind of people we ought to be is to look up to God. He sets the golden standard for how we should act and how we should be. He will also give us help as we try to be like Him. Without a fixed image of what we are trying to become, we will wander aimlessly in an impossible quest. We have to have his aid in this journey of self improvement. He wants to help. His touch won't immediately change us, but over time He really can mold us into greater creatures than we are, I've seen it happen. Once we fix in our minds where we are going and who our guide is, we need to reach out to the people around us. Love and serve, the basic tenants of human happiness. For me, the hard part is knowing, what part of the field do I start cultivating? Where am I needed? What can I actually do? But with an eye looking upward and a hand reaching outward, I think I'll probably be led to a place where I can make a difference, at least in my own small way. I have faith at least in that much. And so I return to the words I try to live by, "Look Up, Reach Out."